A Pressing Question

My days have been filled with classes, homework, music lessons, and deaning. Life was getting settled back into the OHC routine (whatever that is!). I had just finished lunch and logged into my email account. "Hmm. I have an email from Mrs. Clark, the academy principal. Why did she email me?" I wondered. I was floored with the contents of her email. 

Rebekah,
Is your passport still current?  If so, would you be willing to serve as the female sponsor on the mission trip again this year?

Mrs. Clark

The female sponsor?! In other words, the female staff! I was stunned. Last year I went with the mission team to Cuba and served as the female staff. I wanted to go back to Cuba as soon as I heard they were planning another trip there this fall, but I knew I couldn't raise the money to go as a student and I didn't think they'd send me as a staff member a second time. As I read and reread the email, objections weakly vied for mental space with excited plans and precious memories. Would I be willing?! My questions were the finances, the deaning and, most important of all, God's will. I asked my friends to pray for me as I had a big decision to make. I know what the challenges are if I accept. I know what will be required of me as the female staff if I were to go on this trip. Last year, the other staff and I worked past our endurance and dearly paid for it. Yet I loved the challenges, I loved watching God work despite our weaknesses, and I wanted more than anything to answer YES!! to Mrs. Clark's email. But did God want me to say yes? All of this flashed through my brain in the first few seconds after reading the email.

Then other thoughts came. You owe it to your academy girls to stay here: the dean is in a courtship and, although she doesn't have her head in the clouds yet, she probably will by that time and the girls will need you. You're tired from your service this summer and you'll be exhausted by the end of the semester. Remember how things went last year's first semester: the first few weeks the girls were angels but by the end of September/beginning of October they had lost their halos and wings; you can't leave the dean to deal with that alone again. You're having a hard time keeping up with your studies and assignments as it is; this will overload you. And then the really nasty one: When you went to India, one grandfather was killed. When you went to Cuba last year, your other grandfather died. You didn't get to say goodbye to either one of them. What will happen this time? That last thought was counter-productive for the devil. You see, I view myself and my family differently than he does.

I am not my own. I hold myself ready to do whatever my Savior asks me to do, to go wherever He asks me to go, and to be whatever He asks me to be. I am not my own, to live my life as I please. But I am discovering that as I yield my will to Him, He refines and purifies me. The result is that His desires become my own, His will becomes my will, and His plans become my joy! My family is in His hands. How can I influence them to yield to Christ if I myself do not yield? How can I influence them to surrender and to joyfully obey His every wish if I do not joyfully and willingly obey His outright command? God will bless my work for my family as I do what He asks me to do. I would rather lose years with my family on this earth and yet have eternity with them and others, than to spend these years with my family and have others miss out on eternity that I could have reached with the gospel. Both of my grandfathers loved the Lord. I know I will see them again if I am faithful. 

I told the Lord I had relinquished all claim to myself. I chose to be like the ox on the old Roman coins: ready for either service or sacrifice, whichever my Master chose for me. I asked for the following things to fall into place if He wanted me to go: (1) the finances and (2) the dean's approval. 

Last night I talked to the dean, Abby. Her response? "Rebekah, go!" This morning I checked my email again. "We would pay your way as the staff." I had my answer. And now, I can hardly wait for November! Another adventure begins... :)

Pressed out of measure and pressed to all length;

Pressed so intensely it seems, beyond strength;

Pressed in the body and pressed in the soul,

Pressed in the mind till the dark surges roll.

Pressure by foes, and a pressure from friends.

Pressure on pressure, till life nearly ends.

Pressed into knowing no helper but God;

Pressed into loving the staff and the rod.

Pressed into liberty where nothing clings;

Pressed into faith for impossible things.

Pressed into living a life in the Lord,

Pressed into living a Christ-life outpoured.

               -Streams in the Desert, page 156