A Pressing Question

My days have been filled with classes, homework, music lessons, and deaning. Life was getting settled back into the OHC routine (whatever that is!). I had just finished lunch and logged into my email account. "Hmm. I have an email from Mrs. Clark, the academy principal. Why did she email me?" I wondered. I was floored with the contents of her email. 

Rebekah,
Is your passport still current?  If so, would you be willing to serve as the female sponsor on the mission trip again this year?

Mrs. Clark

The female sponsor?! In other words, the female staff! I was stunned. Last year I went with the mission team to Cuba and served as the female staff. I wanted to go back to Cuba as soon as I heard they were planning another trip there this fall, but I knew I couldn't raise the money to go as a student and I didn't think they'd send me as a staff member a second time. As I read and reread the email, objections weakly vied for mental space with excited plans and precious memories. Would I be willing?! My questions were the finances, the deaning and, most important of all, God's will. I asked my friends to pray for me as I had a big decision to make. I know what the challenges are if I accept. I know what will be required of me as the female staff if I were to go on this trip. Last year, the other staff and I worked past our endurance and dearly paid for it. Yet I loved the challenges, I loved watching God work despite our weaknesses, and I wanted more than anything to answer YES!! to Mrs. Clark's email. But did God want me to say yes? All of this flashed through my brain in the first few seconds after reading the email.

Then other thoughts came. You owe it to your academy girls to stay here: the dean is in a courtship and, although she doesn't have her head in the clouds yet, she probably will by that time and the girls will need you. You're tired from your service this summer and you'll be exhausted by the end of the semester. Remember how things went last year's first semester: the first few weeks the girls were angels but by the end of September/beginning of October they had lost their halos and wings; you can't leave the dean to deal with that alone again. You're having a hard time keeping up with your studies and assignments as it is; this will overload you. And then the really nasty one: When you went to India, one grandfather was killed. When you went to Cuba last year, your other grandfather died. You didn't get to say goodbye to either one of them. What will happen this time? That last thought was counter-productive for the devil. You see, I view myself and my family differently than he does.

I am not my own. I hold myself ready to do whatever my Savior asks me to do, to go wherever He asks me to go, and to be whatever He asks me to be. I am not my own, to live my life as I please. But I am discovering that as I yield my will to Him, He refines and purifies me. The result is that His desires become my own, His will becomes my will, and His plans become my joy! My family is in His hands. How can I influence them to yield to Christ if I myself do not yield? How can I influence them to surrender and to joyfully obey His every wish if I do not joyfully and willingly obey His outright command? God will bless my work for my family as I do what He asks me to do. I would rather lose years with my family on this earth and yet have eternity with them and others, than to spend these years with my family and have others miss out on eternity that I could have reached with the gospel. Both of my grandfathers loved the Lord. I know I will see them again if I am faithful. 

I told the Lord I had relinquished all claim to myself. I chose to be like the ox on the old Roman coins: ready for either service or sacrifice, whichever my Master chose for me. I asked for the following things to fall into place if He wanted me to go: (1) the finances and (2) the dean's approval. 

Last night I talked to the dean, Abby. Her response? "Rebekah, go!" This morning I checked my email again. "We would pay your way as the staff." I had my answer. And now, I can hardly wait for November! Another adventure begins... :)

Pressed out of measure and pressed to all length;

Pressed so intensely it seems, beyond strength;

Pressed in the body and pressed in the soul,

Pressed in the mind till the dark surges roll.

Pressure by foes, and a pressure from friends.

Pressure on pressure, till life nearly ends.

Pressed into knowing no helper but God;

Pressed into loving the staff and the rod.

Pressed into liberty where nothing clings;

Pressed into faith for impossible things.

Pressed into living a life in the Lord,

Pressed into living a Christ-life outpoured.

               -Streams in the Desert, page 156

The Backpack

I don't remember exactly how old I was, maybe about 12. I was crying myself to sleep one night for some reason, feeling as if the world rested on my little shoulders. I don't remember what started my tears, but I do remember wishing with all my heart that I could get rid of the heaviness in my heart. The problem was that I didn't know how. No one had told me. In fact, my guess is that no one around me knew the answer themselves, at least not well enough to explain it to me. Finally, I fell asleep. And as I slept, I dreamed...

I peeked around the corner of the empty hallway, terrified that someone would find me and scold me for being there. But I didn't know where I was or where I was supposed to be. And the backpack I had on felt soooo heavy! I saw an open door close to me and I felt drawn to look in. As I peered around the doorframe, I saw a small room. The only furniture in the room was a plain wooden chair in the center of the room. A man was sitting in the chair. All I saw was his eyes. They were so kind and gentle. Then he smiled at me and held out his arms. It was Jesus! And He wanted me to sit on His lap! But I stood, frozen to the spot, because I knew I couldn't climb on His lap. Not with the backpack. The backpack would get in the way, but I didn't know what to do to get rid of it. Oh, how I wanted to sit on His lap! I walked up to Him, but didn't even try to climb in His lap. Then the thought impressed itself on my mind: "Bekah, give Me your backpack." I looked at Him, and He took the backpack. Then, with the tenderest smile I've ever seen, He picked me up and held me in His lap. He didn't just let me sit on His lap. No, He held me close to Him, just like a parent holds their child close to their heart.

When I woke up, I knew what to do to get rid of the heaviness in my heart. The dream stayed with me through the years, the Holy Spirit reminding me of it whenever I struggled with how to surrender: "Bekah, will you give Me the backpack?" Recently I've been hearing several people talking about surrender. From friends, to teachers, to classmates and academy students, many people were struggling with surrendering or telling how God had called them to a surrender of something in their lives. Thursday night I had evening worship for the academy girls and I told them the story of my dream. Last night (Friday night) as I was saying goodnight to my girls, one of them told me, "Goodnight, Miss Rebekah! I hope you have another dream about sitting in Jesus' lap." As I walked away, I began to ask God, "Lord, is there something I haven't surrendered to You that You're trying to help me see? This topic keeps coming up. Is there a reason? What are You trying to tell me?" I didn't like the answer that came. I hadn't realized that particular issue was in my backpack, so to speak. But I chose to give Him the backpack again. What peace! 

Friend, what's in your backpack? Whatever it is, give your backpack to Jesus. It's the most precious experience in the world!

At His Word

The story is told...

     Napoleon was once reviewing his troops near Paris. The horse on which he sat was restless, and the Emperor having thoughtlessly dropped the reins from his hand in the eagerness of giving a command, the spirited animal bounded away and the rider was in danger of being hurled to the ground. A young private standing in the lines leaped forward and, seizing the bridle, saved his beloved Commander from a fall. The Emperor glancing at him said in his quick abrupt way, "Thank you, Captain." The private looked up with a smile and asked, "Of what regiment, sir?" "Of my guards," answered Napoleon, and instantly galloped to another part of the field.
     The young soldier laid down his musket with the remark, "Whoever will may carry that gun; I am done with it," and proceeded at once to join a group of officers who stood conversing at a little distance. One of them, a General, observing his self-possessed approach, angrily said, "What is this insolent fellow doing here?"
     "This insolent fellow," answered the young soldier looking the other steadily in the eye, "is a Captain of the Guards." "Why, man," responded the officer, "you are insane; why do you speak thus?" "He said it," replied the soldier, pointing to the Emperor, who was far down the lines. "I beg your pardon, Captain," politely returned the General, "I was not aware of your promotion."
     To those looking on, he was still a private, dressed in the coarse rough garb of a common soldier; but in the bold assertion of his dignity, he could meet all the jeers of his comrades and all the scoffs of his superiors with the ready reply, "He said it."


That soldier took a man at his word. True, that man was the Emperor Napoleon, but he was still a human. If someone can take another human's word as so being of such authority, why are we so slow to take Christ at His word? "'Tis so sweet to trust in Jesus / Just to take Him at His word ... Oh for grace to trust Him more!"

The Sacrifice

He said: "Wilt thou go with Me

Where shadows eclipse the light?"

And she answered: "My Lord, I will follow Thee

Far, under the stars at night."

But He said: "No starlight pierces the gloom

Of the valley thy feet must tread;

But it leads thee on to a cross and a tomb --"

"But I go with Thee," she said.

"Count the cost; canst thou pay the price --

Be a dumb thing led;

Laid on an altar of sacrifice?"

"Bind me there, my Lord," she said.

"Bind me that I may not fail --

Or hold with Thy wounded hand;

For I fear the knife and the piercing nail,

And I shrink from the burning brand.

Yet whither Thou goest I will go,

Though the way be lone and dread --"

His voice was tender, sweet, and low --

"Thou shalt go with Me," He said.

And none knew the anguish sore

Or the night of the way she came;

Alone, alone with the cross she bore,

Alone in her grief and shame.

Brought to the altar of sacrifice,

There as a dumb thing slain:

Was the guerdon more than the bitter price?

Was it worth the loss and pain?

Ask the seed-corn, when the grain

Ripples its ripened gold;

Ask the sower when, after toil and pain,

He garners the hundred-fold.

HE said (and His voice was glad and sweet):

"Was it worth the cost, My own?"

And she answered, low at His pierced feet,

"I found at the end of the pathway lone

NOT DEATH, BUT LIFE ON A THRONE!"

-Annie Clarke (quoted in Springs in the Valley page 242-243)

My Epiphany in History Class...

History has always fascinated me. I am intrigued by how people have lived, by the deeds they accomplished, and most of all by the way God has worked behind the scenes to accomplish His plan. However, learning dates and time periods has never held much appeal for me. This past week I was sitting in my U.S. history class, listening to the teacher elaborate on the stages of immigration into the U.S. and the corresponding time periods, wondering why I had chosen to minor in social studies. The teacher directed our attention to a graph illustrating the annual immigration rates from 1800-2000. I idly stared at the graph as she continued to talk about the fact that the annual immigration rates peaked between the years of 1870-1910, adding that about 50% of the immigrants actually went back to their homelands after working in the States for awhile. Suddenly, things clicked...

In the year 1900, a book was printed entitled Testimonies for the Church, Volume 6. On page 450 of this book, Ellen White said, "Had the purpose of God been carried out by His people in giving to the world the message of mercy, Christ would, ere this, have come to the earth, and the saints would have received their welcome into the city of God." Think of it: thousands of immigrants from all over the world were coming to the U.S. every year (many of them stayed in the New England states where Adventism was growing rapidly) and roughly half of those immigrants would return to their homelands. If God's professed people had worked as He had wanted them to work (instead of arguing over the 1888 General Conference session, among other things), they would have been able to reach many of those immigrants, who in turn would have taken the truth to their own people. The work would have been finished, and Christ would have come. 

In the history of ancient Israel, the people God had chosen as His special people were directed to cross the Jordan River and conquer the land of Canaan. Because they were not faithful in carrying out His directions, they had to wander in the wilderness for 40 years. Eventually, though, their children were brought to the same place where their fathers had failed. 

But the rate of immigration from 1870-1910 wasn't all the information on the graph. Interesting. There is one other time during the years 1800-2000s when the annual immigration rates actually surpassed the wave of immigration between 1870-1910. From the 1980s onward, annual immigration rates have equalled and even surpassed those of the years 1870-1910!

Now God has brought us, His spiritual Israel, full circle. Our forefathers missed the opportunity back in the late 1800s/early 1900s. Because of their mistake, we've been here on Earth longer than our Father wanted. But the question each of us must answer is: Will we make the same mistake our forefathers did? Or will we learn from their mistake and focus on fulfilling the commission our Savior gave us so long ago? 

The promise is sure ("Lo, I am with you alway, even unto the end of the world."), but it is for those who will obey the command ("Go ... into all the world..."). People from around the world are coming to our very doorstep. Are we reaching them? Others are waiting in darkness around the globe. Are we going to their doorsteps? The promise is sure for those who obey. Will you obey right where you are?

(By the way, I remembered why I had chosen to minor in social studies. "We have nothing to fear for the future, except as we shall forget the way the Lord has led us, and His teaching in our past history." Selected Messages, volume 3, page 162)

Thoughts to begin the Sabbath...

He stood beside the gate of heaven, waiting to go in,

And he wondered how this holy place could take a man like him.

With shouts of great rejoicing and with music then they came;

Of the angels standing by him he asked, "What could be their name?"

"These are the company of prophets. The goodly fellowship of souls

Who spake God's Word with faith and boldness; 

Who blessed the poor and made the wounded whole."

"Oh," he fell upon his knees, and cried, "I am not one of these."

He waited 'til another band of shining ones drew nigh.

They entered into heaven with a "Hallelujah" cry.

He asked again, "Who are these? Can you tell me whence they came?"

He seemed to see the answer in a burning tongue of flame.

"These are the company of martyrs, the mighty fellowship of saints

Who knew our Lord and walked beside Him;

Who ran the holy race and did not faint."

"Oh," he fell upon his knees, and cried, "I am not one of these."

Then suddenly a multitude was heard from far away.

Their voices rang with songs of joy like children at their play.

He saw Rahab; he saw David, Mary Magdalene, and Paul;

And the thief who died by Jesus was the one who led them all.

"Who are these?!" he almost shouted at the angels.

"These are the sinners saved by grace!

The host of them who called upon the Savior - 

Washed in blood and justified by faith!"

And, Oh! he leaped up from his knees!

"Oh, I can go in with these!

And I can go in, for my heart is free from sin.

I've been washed in the blood, everlasting life to win.

I can rejoice, I can lift up my voice - I can sing! - and I can go in!"

Oh, he thought that there could be no hallelujahs and no cries,

For this lowly band of people by the world despised.

Bu as the scenes of heaven opened up before his eyes

He saw the martyrs and the prophets and the host of rise -

And they sang, "I can go in, for my heart is free from sin.

I've been washed in the blood, everlasting life to win.

I can rejoice, I can lift up my voice - I can sing! - and I can go in!"

I can rejoice, I can lift up my voice - I can sing! - and I can go in!"

"I can go in!"

-Abigail Miller

I am so thankful that Jesus made it possible for us to "go in," even into the very throne-room of heaven by prayer and faith! And best of all, soon we'll go into heaven in reality! As the Sabbath begins, let's enter into the special blessing God has for us in these hours.

"He shall be like a tree..."

I gave a worship talk at the YD counselor retreat/rally earlier this week, and the message of that worship talk has continued to impress me and teach me. I just love how God arranges things like this! We looked at a few lessons from trees, lessons from the roots, bark, and pH of the soil. But God has been pointing out more lessons to me since then. 

I find it fascinating that the root system of a tree must be at least the same depth as the height above ground and at least as broad underground as the branches spread above ground. Notice I said "at least." It's not infrequent to find root systems larger than that! One lesson from this that has impressed itself on me is that while we cannot see the heart, we can see the effect of the heart on the life. At the beginning of the Christian life (like at the beginning of the life of a tree) we may not see anything much above ground, but that doesn't mean we never will. The growth must first be in the heart (or the ground) before its effect is seen in the life (or the growth of the tree above ground). "It is no easy matter to gain the priceless treasure of eternal life. No one can do this and drift with the current of the world. He must come out from the world and be separate and touch not the unclean. No one can act like a worldling without being carried down by the current of the world. No one will make any upward progress without persevering effort. He who would overcome must hold fast to Christ. He must not look back, but keep the eye ever upward, gaining one grace after another. Individual vigilance is the price of safety. Satan is playing the game of life for your soul. Swerve not to his side a single inch, lest he gain advantage over you. If we ever reach heaven, it will be by linking our souls to Christ, leaning upon Him, and cutting loose from the world, its follies and enchantments. There must be on our part a spiritual co-operation with the heavenly intelligences. We must believe and work and pray and watch and wait. As the purchase of the Son of God, we are His property, and everyone should have an education in the school of Christ. Both teachers and pupils are to make diligent work for eternity. The end of all things is at hand. There is need now of men armed and equipped to battle for God" (6T 148.1). "Oh, you much need to gaze fixedly upon Jesus! Keep beholding His charms. As you behold they will keep brightening and enlarging until you are filled with all the fulness of God and bear much fruit to His glory. The branch is too firmly connected with the parent stock to be swayed by every breeze. Strength and vigorous growth tell to the world that your root is in Jesus, that your foundation is sure" (OHC 216.4).

Another lesson that stood out to me is from Our High Calling, page 216.1: "'Watch unto prayer,' and you will steadily grow in grace and in a knowledge of Christ. Your experience will not be one-sided, deformed, but healthful, symmetrical. All unawares to yourself, you will have expanded like the wide-spreading cedar, and many will profit by your counsel; your association with them will have the fragrance of heaven." How beautiful! The pine tree gives off a special scent, a healthful and life-giving fragrance. Why? Simply because it is a pine tree. Many trees can be identified by their fragrance. Just that surely, the life of the Christian is like a breath from heaven to those wandering in the world. Just as a pine tree can be identified by its scent, a connected Christian can be identified by the fragrance of heaven in his/her life. 

"We all have an influence, and that influence is telling upon the destiny of others for their present and future good or for their eternal loss" (3T 528.3). "The closer we keep to Christ, and the more meek and lowly and self-distrustful we are, the firmer will be our hold on Christ, and the greater will be our power, through Christ, to convert sinners; for it is not the human agent that moves the soul. Heavenly intelligences co-operate with the human agent and impress the truth upon the heart. Abiding in Christ we are able to exert an influence over others; but it is because of the presence of Him who says: 'Lo, I am with you alway, even unto the end of the world.' Matthew 28:20" (6T 399.2). "You may never know the result of your influence from day to day, but be sure that it is exerted for good or evil. Many who have a kind heart and good impulses permit their attention to be absorbed in worldly business or pleasure, while the souls that look to them for guidance drift on to hopeless wreck. Such persons may have a high profession and may stand well in the opinion of men, even as Christians, but in the day of God, when our works shall be compared with the divine law, then it will be found that they have not come up to the standard. Others who saw their course fell a little below them, and still others fell below the latter class, and thus the work of degeneracy went on. Throw a pebble into the lake and a wave is formed, and another and another; and as they increase, the circle widens until they reach the very shore. Thus our influence, though apparently insignificant, may continue to extend far beyond our knowledge or control" (Review and Herald, Jan. 24, 1882, par. 11, 12).

"Blessed is the man that walketh not in the counsel of the ungodly, nor standeth in the way of sinners, nor sitteth in the seat of the scornful. But his delight is in the law of the Lord; and in His law doth he meditate day. And he shall be like a tree planted by the rivers of water, that bringeth forth his fruit in his season; his leaf also shall not wither; and whatsoever he doeth shall prosper. The ungodly are not so: but are like the chaff which the wind driveth away. Therefore the ungodly shall not stand in the judgment, nor sinners in the congregation of the righteous. For the Lord knoweth the way of the righteous: but the way of the ungodly shall perish." Psalm 1:1-6