Ask More

Between the last update and this one, I have enjoyed the visits of two of my siblings and their families. It was absolutely wonderful having them here! I am so blessed!

I've been struck lately with the realization that we rarely ask God for as much as He wants us to. During my third chemo treatment a few weeks ago I got very nauseated towards the end of the infusion. Most of the nurses had gone on lunch break and several other patients needed the attention of the remaining nurses, so I kept my mouth shut and God got me through it without throwing up. The next week I was expecting something similar to happen but there was no nausea, not even a little bit! (And yes, I got scolded for not saying something the week prior.) Mom said she had been praying my nausea would be less, and the Lord had impressed her that He could take the nausea away completely. She agreed that He certainly could if He wanted to, but she didn't ask Him to. Later that day, two people told her they had been specifically praying that I would have no nausea during that treatment. God wanted Mom to ask Him for more.

I know people around the world are praying for my healing, either complete or at least enough to get me through till Jesus comes and I can have a new body entirely. Some days I am sure He will show His power in a marked way, because so many with weak or new faith are watching to see what He does. Other days I feel like I should start planning my funeral so Daniel doesn't have to. Good thing faith isn't dependent on feelings and emotions! As my grandpa's favorite song says, "My Lord has promised good to me, / His Word my hope secures; /  He will my shield and portion be / As long as life endures. Through many dangers, toils, and snares / I have already come; / 'Tis grace hath brought me safe thus far, / And grace will lead me home."

Today's visit with the oncologist was good. My white blood cells are back up, so I can have my next chemo treatment tomorrow. The other bloodwork looked good, too, apparently. Some of my liver enzymes are starting to elevate, but that's to be expected with chemo and they're nowhere near the troublesome levels yet. The oncologist said the largest breast tumor felt much softer than he had expected, and the entire breast was much improved, the redness/inflammation gone and the swelling almost gone. He's ordered a CT scan so he can see what's actually happening inside. He's very happy with how things are looking, although I can tell he's still puzzled somewhat. 

We found out that my tumors have two genetic mutations, both of which are rare, but they both provide additional options for treatment in the future. However, both mutations are rare enough that not much research has been done yet to know how well the targeted treatments work long-term.

So I'm determined to ask God for more. More chemo treatments without nausea. Better liver functions than the doctor expects. Less pain, when everyone in my medical team expects me to be asking for stronger painkillers. More courage and joy to share with those around me. More tolerance (and even enjoyment) of foods that are good for me that I don't like to eat. A CT scan that shows the power of my Jesus to heal. More souls who fall in love with their Savior because of this valley I'm going through. Big things and little things. Why? Because the same Jesus who raised Lazarus from the dead, who gave Sarah a baby when she was 90, who healed lepers with a word or a touch - this same Jesus is my Jesus, and He hasn't lost His power to heal or His love for us. I'm ok if He chooses to say no to a request. But I'm asking anyway!

As is now becoming a tradition with these updates, enjoy one of the songs that has been running through my mind while I type this! My dear friend Sabrina reminded me of it, and you can listen to a beautiful rendition here.